John Pendal

Worthing, United Kingdom

Online kink mentoring and life coaching from professional BDSM educator and former International Mr Leather, John Pendal - either as video calls to individuals and relationship groups, or workshops to larger numbers.


John has been teaching BDSM workshops around the world since 2004. His passion is helping people find their way in kink, leather and BDSM. One-to-one sessions are completely confidential and individually tailored.


John's life coaching practice helps people who feel like outsiders with any area of their life, both personal and professional. Coaching takes place over video calls, so you can be calling from anywhere in the world.

John is relatable rather than aspirational. During his life John has experienced negative thoughts, gay conversion therapy, coeliac disease, back surgery and is autistic. He has also become the only British winner of the International Mr Leather contest in Chicago and had a ten year career as a stand-up comedian which has taken him around the world.

He wants to help other people, especially those who feel like an outsider. You may feel that way because of your gender or sexuality, neurodiversity, health diagnosis or just a feeling of "not fitting in". John will listen and ask questions in total confidence and without judgement.

John specialises in coaching for self-acceptance and happiness. His work includes helping newly diagnosed autistic folk work out what that means, discovering where masking ends and you begin, and how to change your life to better fit your neurology.

John has helped clients discover who they are, what their passions are, find their voice, achieve goals, accept themselves, grow in confidence, be happier and change their lives.

You are welcome to wear dark glasses during calls, have the camera turned off, switch to text chat, fidget, info-dump or anything else that will make you feel more comfortable.

If you would like to contact John please get in touch by email ( or using the contact form on his website:


Accredited coach with Animas Centre for Coaching
FAA Level 2 Award in First Aid for Mental Health
FAA Level 3 Award in Supervising First Aid for Mental Health
Associate coach with Thriving Autistic
Member of the International Coaching Federation


Coaching website:

Kink Coaching:

John is a cisgender gay man (pronouns he/ him). In 2003 he became the 25th person to win the annual International Mr Leather contest in Chicago. Since then he has traveled extensively teaching BDSM workshops around the world, including at Beyond Leather in Fort Lauderdale, Down an Dirty in Melbourne, Edgeplay Scotland in Edinburgh, HunCon in Budapest, Inferno, Kinkferansen in Oslo, Leather Camp in Wichita, the London Alternative Market, Lupercalia in Canada, Minnesota Leather Pride, Mr Leatherman Toronto, Palm Springs Leather Pride, Rome BDSM Conference, SINSations in Leather, SM Bergen in Norway, Spring in the South in Atlanta, Tribal Fire in Oklahoma, and Thunder in the Mountains in Denver (every year from 2007 to 2017).

His full leather history is at


"John is an excellent listener. He takes his time getting to know you and your interests, give you a combination of things to think about, point you to references and resources in the gay/kink world, and provide practical advice about how to start or restart a life in kink." – Anthony

"John's mentoring sessions were an excellent way for me to ask questions and explore both my own kinks and the broader world of fetish and BDSM. With John's refined skill set in coaching and years of experience in the kink world, he offers a professional service that allows individuals to explore and navigate their desires without it getting confused with sex work or ulterior motives. John has a wealth of specific and practical knowledge that will no doubt be useful in your particular situation. Also, whether or not you are neurodivergent, John's bespoke infographics are excellent resources for navigating your unique place in an overwhelming world." - Henry

"I'm very grateful for my time with John. Not knowing what to expect from a BDSM mentor it exceeded any expectation. Each call was highly engaging, thoughtful and brought new personal insights. Those insights were applicable across my entire life, not just the self in the BDSM world. John's experience, confidence, ability to ask the right question and listen made each call better than the last. He was able to quickly understand who I am and how I want to show up in the BDSM space. He tailored our discussions and guidance in a way that met me where I'm at on the journey and broke down any fear that I may have had. I highly recommend John and look forward to future calls with him." – Kurt, London

Information from BLUF last updated by Nigel, aka SubDirectory (3) at Tue Jan 24 10:45:46 2023 UTC


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The educators and coaches in this list have been curated by BLUF members.